By Averi Clements. By Lyndsie Robinson. By Kate Ferguson. Search Search for:. About Contact Privacy Policy. Facebook Instagram Pinterest. Share this article now! Have something to add? Is this absorption with their past obscuring some other issue? Do you feel angry on their behalf for how their ex treated them? If there are children involved, is it hard for you to win their trust, or even get along with them?
Are you bringing unfinished business from your past into this new relationship? Another way to move beyond jealousy is to work on strengthening your current relationship connection.
Rather than view jealousy as a feeling that needs to be banished, think of it as an opportunity to work on trusting yourself and your partner. You made a choice to love your partner, and at the same time, you need to accept that love is never without risk.
At its worst? Retroactive jealousy is obsessive , compulsive and ruinous. It means delving through the entire backlog of posts, comments and photos of them together online, constantly comparing yourself with the ex and incessantly questioning your partner about every element of their relationship. It's a pretty shameful thing to admit to, so it's unsurprising that those we spoke to about the phenomenon wanted to remain anonymous. Ahead, five women share their experiences of retroactive jealousy.
Control your thoughts and feelings before letting your jealousy ruin your relationship. Jealousy and envy aren't needed in your present relationship and to make them go away, you need to remind yourself that what you have now with him is real. No one is trying to take that away. Whatever you do, do not stalk his ex on social media or look at pictures of them together. Shift your focus to the now, and trust your partner and relationship.
The past will always be the past, but you have the opportunity to change the future with him. When people are jealous of their partner's ex, that might stem from underlying anxiety or self-esteem issues. Don't let yourself get stuck in a negative headspace with negative emotions.
Use mindfulness and address these issues; only then will you be able to take steps forward. Practicing mindfulness, as well as realizing your value, will help you understand that you matter in this relationship. His ex is his ex; they broke up for a reason, so keep that in mind. If you aren't feeling confident at all in your relationship because of your jealousy, you need to let your partner know.
If they are doing something that's triggering, voice your concerns and feelings to him. Talk about boundaries and find ways where the both of you come to the same understanding. If you're having a lot of trouble coping with your jealousy, it might be best to talk with a therapist about it. They can help you explore the issue and its root cause. Sign in. Join YourTango Experts.
Expert Blog. Photo: getty. Debra Smouse. Subscribe to our newsletter. Hey You! Want more of YourTango's best articles , seriously addictive horoscopes and top expert advice?
0コメント